Is Busy Really Good?

So much has changed in the last month.  So very much. It's sad that it took such a tragedy to bring me to my knees and seek the Lord in a much different way.  The view is much different now. The priorities and goals are much different too.  To read more about Amber's passing and my very first post, go here.  

I was SO BUSY.  Are you busy? What are you busy with? Sometimes we are busy with really good STUFF, but is it what's right for you?  I ask this because I was busy with really good stuff.  I did some really wonderful outreaches. I traveled to Kenya many times and much much more.  These are all good things, right?

In the last couple months I have stepped back and realized that although all these things were good, am I really doing my very best when I am stretched so thin? What if I was giving many 60% instead of giving a few 100%.  And what about me?  If I'm not taking care of myself, how can I effectively take care of others?! 

I am sure you have heard this, but it's worth repeating. When you are on an airplane with a small child and the oxygen mask drops down in an emergency, the mask is to be put on YOU first, then the child.  Sounds kinda crazy right? But you can't take care of that child if you aren't first taking care of yourself first.  

I used to love reading and seldom found time in the last few years.  I have read SEVEN books since January 6th!  Yay me!! I was lucky if I read seven books in the last seven years. Why? Because I didn't have time! Or didn't make time, depending on how you look at it. And not only that, I read the Bible now more than ever. 

This reminds me of the story of Mary and Martha.  It has special meaning to me now. I am learning to choose the things that "will not be taken away from me". 

Luke 10:38-42
Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me. But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

I have had many people ask me if I am staying busy.  The answer is NO! I don't want to be busy and I don't need to be busy. Busy isn't going to help me. Busy doesn't take my mind off losing Amber. It sounds nice in theory, but it really doesn't work.  Nothing is going to take my mind off her.  I will always miss her and I will never get over my loss until I see her again.  Will I get through this? Sure I will.  Will it get better? Yep. But for now, maybe my ramblings will help you (and me) in some way as I search for a closer relationship with God and continue to receive the peace that passes all understanding. 

I read this today from another site. It is SO what I am feeling right now.

"I'm glad that God is loving and patient, because, to be perfectly honest, my heart has not caught up with the truth of what I believe." --Lisa Qualls

Maybe you didn't lose a child, but I can bet you have gone through some trying times or are going through something right now. And if you aren't, you will.  The Bible tells us we will have trials and sufferings.  Just hold on to the rock that is steady and will never waiver.  God will always see you through the storms.

Psalm 9:9-10
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
    a stronghold in times of trouble.
10 And those who know your name put their trust in you,
    for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.