An Old Pair of Shoes

Today I find myself especially sad. Not sure why so much today. There is this dull ache in my heart that won't seem to go away. I am doing ok, but it seems as if I am just muddling my way through life. What used to excite me or encourage me doesn't seem to matter anymore. I know things will get better, but I will always always always have a piece of me missing.  I miss Amber with everything in me today. Here is a picture of Amber the day after Christmas. How could we possibly know in just two weeks she would no longer be with us. 

I found this on another site.  Not sure who wrote it. 

I have to wear these old ugly shoes for life now.

I am wearing a pair of shoes. 
They are ugly shoes. 
Uncomfortable shoes. 
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.