It Could Be Worse

When something goes wrong, I have always thought about how it could be worse.  This is a pattern I have had throughout life. This is one of many things that have helped me through the last few months. I realize although I lost Amber, there have been many blessings. It could have been worse. I realize I don’t have to forgive anyone for her death. There are many more  blessings in the midst of this road I am traveling. People lose their children under much more horrific circumstances. I suppose I couldn’t have asked for it to go any better if I were truly honest. These kind of thoughts help me keep my sanity.

I read this yesterday.

We must recognize, depend on, speak with, and believe in God while in the fire. God himself says in Isaiah 43 that he will be with us, walking beside us in the fire. Knowing him personally while in our affliction is the key to becoming stronger rather than weaker in it. —Timothy Keller

How true this is. I realize when we first found out we had a handicap daughter, we could have gone a whole different direction in our thoughts and feelings, like some do. We were going to love Amber through it all. We never questioned “why me?” and we never got angry with God. We accepted. God doesn’t owe us anything. He already paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. I realize how often I have given God a checklist on all the prayers I want answered. Do you ever think God feels used by us? Like he is our Daddy we run to so we can get what we want with no consideration for who he is. He just wants our time and devotion.

God is moving powerfully to strip me of my self-centeredness. 

Some people know my love for Brennan Manning. This is one of my all time favorites of him speaking. I never tire of hearing it.